Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize