I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
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Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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