Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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