does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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