A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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