Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize