You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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