I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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