she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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