I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i don't like sucking hair
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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