Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize