Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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