For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize