i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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