I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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