why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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