Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize