They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize