I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
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Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
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Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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