I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
stop calling my apartment porn island.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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