Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I think my moral compass just broke
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize