A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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