Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You were trust falling into bushes
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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