Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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