I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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