i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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