For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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