it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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