Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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