i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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