Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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