so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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