So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize