Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
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