Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize