you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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