The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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