The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize