Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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