So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize