I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize