She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize