Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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