Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I party with great urgency now.
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