A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This toilet bowl is my home.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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