he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
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So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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