so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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