Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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