How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize