I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Couch. On fire.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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